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N E W S CO L U M N
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MEDIA WATCH ...
FDR'S SHADOW
RECEIVES GREAT
REVIEW IN KIRKUS
The August issue of
Kirkus Reviews
contained a very positive
write-up on FDR'S
Shadow, calling it "An
insightful look at a
complex relationship
that has been largely lost
to history." Read the
whole review at Barnes
and Noble.
The book will be
published in October.
TRUE
SHOCKER
COURTESY OF
THE NATIONAL
ENQUIRER
On a recent vacation, the
editor bought a copy of
The National Enquirer,
the supermarket tabloid.
One wouldn't care to
have Plutarch's Lives or
Jane Austen's
Persuasion suffer
sun-blanching or
splashing, after all.
The statistical
breakdown on the
content of the Enquirer:
5% news
45% (vapid) celebrity
gossip
35% misery and
stranger-than-fiction
stories
15% advice
As a person of letters, the
editor was under
constant attack, holding
a copy of the National
Enquirer in her hands.
And yet, as a person of
letters, the editor could
have no finer moment
than to be invited as a
guest on The Today
Show.
Have you seen the
once-vaunted Today
Show recently?
The statistical
breakdown on the
content:
5% news
45% (vapid) celebrity
gossip
35% misery and
stranger-than-fiction
stories
15% advice
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Send your letters and
comments to
Bumble@JFenster.com
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F e a t u r e s
BUMBLE BEE READERS:
LOOK FOR A CONTEST
IN THIS SPACE SOON!
Anyone can win the
grand prize.
Will It Be You?
THE OMNISCIENT
Q - Did FDR ever bum
cigarettes from Louis Howe?
A I cannot aver that Roosevelt
never borrowed a cigarette from
Louis Howe, since they were
intimate friends for some
twenty-five years. And they both
smoked heavily.
The Omniscient would answer,
however, that it would have been
a rare instance. Howe smoked
the Sweet Caporal brand of
cigarettes, which were pungent.
Roosevelt teased Howe about
them and surmised that the
Sweet Caporal company
probably didn't have (or need)
any other customers. Roosevelt
preferred Lucky Strikes and
would have been hard-pressed
to ask for a Sweet Caporal.
Q. Should we question
authority? Even The
Omniscient's answers?
A - In a Democracy, it is
everyone's duty to question
authority.
THE BUMBLE BEE, however, is
not a democracy.
Send your questions tor the
Omniscient o
Bumble@JFenster.com
Dining Column:
DELICIOUS FOOD
EVER SAVES THE DAY
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Tomato sandwich Sept. 1, 2009
TOMATO UPDATE:
The key to a happy life
is choosing worthy
goals. THE BUMBLE
BEE suggests that all
readers will be
gratified by the
consumption of a
sandwich made from a
tomato picked only
minutes -- or seconds
-- before. Growing a
tomato may take all of
your earthly talents
and a wrenching
amount of toil. But it is
a glory to taste a
tomato that tastes like
a tomato.
FROM SPAIN:
Paella August 28, 2009
A reader from Georgia,
Lynn B., sent this picture
of a paella she made as a
special treat for her family.
Paella is a saffron-flavored
rice dish. It is mixed with
vegetables, seafood,
sausage and chicken. The
paella pan is placed in the
middle of the table and
diners spoon (or shovel)
their own portions.
Lynn lived in Spain during
the 1960's and has visited
there nearly every year
since. Her advice for
paella: "cut the vegetables
small, 3/8-inch."
HAVE YOU SAVED THE
DAY WITH A DELICIOUS
DISH? SEND A PICTURE
OR YOUR COOKING TIPS.
Bumble@JFenster.com
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S p o r t s
BASEBALL ____________
THE BOSTON RED SOX:
EVERYONE'S FAVORITE
FARM TEAM
When the Boston Red Sox
release a pitcher, play-off
contending teams lick their
chops.
John Smoltz, who was dismal
with the Red Sox, was picked
up by the St. Louis Cardinals
and has been hard to beat,
going 2-0 in three starts.
Brad Penny, who was
lackluster with the Red Sox,
landed with the San Francisco
Giants and gave them a
winning performance against
the 2008 champion Phillies.
Perhaps the person the Red
Sox really ought to release is
their pitching coach. Ask not
for whom the bell tolls, John
Farrell
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Jumbone wrapper Sept. 4, 2009
I ate a Jumbone in
one sitting. It was
supposed to last two
days, at least.
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Kipper August 25, 2009
LETTER FROM A BUMBLE
BEE READER:
[Below, the writer refers to
the fight that Kipper and
Pumpernickel had in August,
leaving Pumpernickel with
an injured right front foot. -
ed]
Dear Kipper:
Fighting with
Pumpernickel--who is
much smaller than
you--you injured his front
foot. How come you're at
liberty--outdoors, rolling
around in the grass on this
sunny day--while
Pumpernickel's confined to
quarters?
- Actual BUMBLE BEE READER
Kipper's Response:
It wasn't my
fault.
Maman said it
wasn't anybody's
fault.
- Kipper
[note: Pumpernickel is now
completely recovered - ed.]
Send your comments to
Bumble@JFenster.com
(Kipper understands
English perfectly and
several piquant words in
French
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Kipper's Day
- A Regular Feature -
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O p i n i o n
STOCK MARKET
FORECAST:
Enjoy the next few weeks;
late September will be
rough sledding.
WAS JOHN
BARRYMORE A
GREAT ACTRESS?
The most annoying and
insulting trend is that of
calling female performers of
the stage and screen,
"actors."
A female performer is an
"actress." It is a word of the
highest honor, built upon
centuries of
accomplishment by artists
such as Sarah Bernhardt,
Ruth Chatterton, Laurette
Taylor and Colleen
Dewhurst. They should not
be insulted by the
implication that their
calling -- to be an actress on
the stage -- was in any way
second-rate.
And why is it assumed that
women somehow raise
their status by adopting the
male role or nomenclature?
If a commentator is seeking
to be ultra-modern by
giving performers a
genderless job-title, then let
all the male performers be
called "actresses." Until
they are, then here is a
suggestion: respect women,
rather than trying to erase
them.
---------------
To the Editor:
The Daily Bumble Bee is
worth every penny! This is
your liveliest writing since
the obituaries you wrote
for The Post-Standard.
--Satisfied Reader,
Syracuse, New York
---------------
All letters printed in the
DAILY BUMBLE BEE are
from actual readers.
Please send your
letter-to-the-editor to
Bumble@JFenster.com
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